#6 – Cashier Etiquette – Rule No. 1, No Change and Bills in the Same Hand

These past two years food has taken a back seat to other priorities. Last year I went nearly 200 days without ever cooking a meal. Add it up and that’s a lot of 7-11 sandwiches, cheese pizza, and pad thai. All these trips to the convenience store have allowed me to observe cash register etiquette first-hand, and I’ve concluded that it’s flawed.

Last week I was buying lunch at the commissary. I ordered a large thanksgiving styled turkey dinner from the fake Koo Koo Roo and then stood in line. It was peak lunch hours so the line was pretty long. When I got to the cashier the total came to seven dollars and some change. I gave the cashier a twenty, and she returned the bills and change in the same hand. This made for a peculiar moment. I had to scramble to do four things at once. I needed to put the change in my pocket, my bills in the wallet, my wallet in my back packet, and then pick up the tray. Meanwhile there was a line of impatient students eyeing me down for holding things up. I looked  to the cashier, but she had no sympathy for my plight, she had already invited up the next person in line.

One of the most awkward experiences waiting in line at a cashier is having the change returned back to you in the same hand that the bills are in. Its pretty selfish if you think about it, because the cashier is making her life easier at your expense. It causes the customer to be directly responsible for the delay of the line. For me, the guilt of holding up the line often leads to frantic rushes where I either drop the coin, or end up throwing it in my wallet. This inevitably warps the wallet, and has the added bonus of falling out at some later date.

After some research, my crackpot team and I have come up with several solutions. First, one might apply a buffer zone. Similar to how the next person in line keeps his distance at an atm machine, one should keep his distance at the cash register. The idea here is to alleviate the guilt associated with holding up the line by adjusting the physical proximity of those behind you. However, there might be some difficulty having the line abide by these new rules. A second option is having the cashier simply hand the change back with enough time for the customer to place it appropriately. One problem with this is that the cashier might become irritable waiting, in which case you have simply traded one form of guilt for another. To solve this inconvenience, you can have the cashier give you the bills before she calculates the proper change amount. Thus, while she is grabbing the change owed, you will have already put the bill back in to your wallet.

I suggest a one-day training session for all cashiers followed by a week of on-site behavioral modification.

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14 Responses to “#6 – Cashier Etiquette – Rule No. 1, No Change and Bills in the Same Hand”

  1. refusenik Says:

    One option is to just take the bills and change you are given in one hand, put that all in your pocket, and later on (when you have a free second) move the bills into your wallet. That would avoid the need for any government agency-enforced training and observation sessions. Our tax dollars are better spent elsewhere.

  2. Penny Lover 12 Says:

    Have you ever thought that people in line are giving you that look because your and jackass!? I actually am a cashier here at Starbucks. I don’t want to toot my own horn but i was employee of the month this November. Our manager Rico gave me a plaque and ribbon that says “Ms. November” on it. it’s pretty funny. Anyways, my point is that i know a good deal about these things, and most of the time customers deserve those looks. There is always someone getting off their cell phone, or someone who didn’t calculate the exact price and is borrowing from their friend. Sometimes they just want to have a conversation. In the Biz we like to refer to what you describe as guilt as “lime shame” and its a healthy way that the market regulates itself. Sometimes, if the customer looks like a real piece of work, which i imagine you are, I like to give him the change back as quickly as possible and then watch him struggle.

  3. DisgruntledCashier49 Says:

    How dare you put the blame on cashiers, when we are day in and day out waiting on you guys, on your cellphones yapping away, staring blankly at us unresponsively when we ask a simple “credit or debit” question? you have some nerve trying to put the blame on us!! I’m a cashier at an upscale market chain (I won’t name the store here), but am furious at the thought you want ME to enter some behavior modification program! the CUSTOMERS should enter a behavior modification program, for their rude cell phone usage while in line, which ends up holding up lines far more than any “change and bill in one hand” trick. GIMME A BREAK!@

  4. Fact Check Says:

    Oh please cashiers above. Remove stick from butt and realize you’re in the service industry. Just because you have some jerks on cell phones doesn’t mean we all deserve to be treated like crap uniformly.

    If they persist on making it difficult for me to put my change away I just stand in the way until I’m done. It’s most annoying in the supermarket when you’re still putting your change (or even groceries) away while they start sending the next persons stuff down the conveyer belt. I’m not done yet and they are not getting to their stuff until I’m done.

  5. your boy chris c Says:

    I second you on this one. The worst is when the cashier takes the receipt and rolls it up with the cash AND the change. When that happens, take your time sorting everything out, but stare the fucking cashier right in the eye as you are doing it with a look that says “Hey there, hows ur minimum wage job treating you bitch?”. If anyone else in line gives you shit just shrug your shoulders and point at the cashier. The next time you patronize the establishment, pay with pennies.

  6. annabelle1234 Says:

    Buy a Murse… That way you can just throw the change in it and quickly exit the register.
    But then you will have a new problem… carrying a purse

  7. duberstein Says:

    It gets even worse when they toss the receipt into the mix as well. Maybe it’s just me, but my mind can’t concentrate on three separate things at once, so it usually just causes me to black out, thus holding up the very customers in line that I felt guilty about in the first place.

  8. annabelle1234 Says:

    Chris I have tried to pay in pennies before and they would not let me! I explained to them that it was currency and upheld by the treasury of the USA, but the ladies at the gas station still refused. They did not want to count it. They did not seem to understand that it was money.

  9. your boy chris c Says:

    Bastards, i guess thats just another point in the case against pennies…

  10. BlogSpotHero415 Says:

    thus holding up the very customers in line that I felt guilty about in the first place”

    that’s the most ironic thing i’ve ever heard. The very definition of irony.

    another greattt nuisance post!!! WINNER

  11. hitup9xo8 Says:

    ahhahahha LOL ROTF LMAO soo tru! yaah they always hand itz bakc to me all stupid like Iz always be like whaaa where am i suppozed to put thezee>>? eetz dumb! hahahah soo tru!1! — hitup9xo8

  12. yvonne Says:

    at least you dont have a purse! it so much worse when you have the bills and coins in one hand which leave one hand to dig through the bag and find the wallet etc etc. i always end up stuffing the money in my pocket. i get too flustered. or sometimes i dont get flustered at all and i take my sweet time even unzipping my coin pocket to put everything it its right place.

  13. Silver Says:

    THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS!

  14. Mermaid Says:

    I call it the burrito receipt—the bills and coins rolled inside of the receipt and a long senseless array of coupons and non-coupon advertisements.

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