#7 – Bathroom Attendants

The other day I went to a club with a group of friends.  It was loud, the music was booming, and the drinks were expensive.  As often is the case after I’ve had a few beers, I had to go to the bathroom.  The floors were tiled checkered black and the ceiling was high.  I did my business and then washed my hands.  There was a bathroom attendant handing out towels.  He also had mouthwash, condoms, and a Get Shorty DVD.  In these situations I try to grab my towel from the dispenser but they were out, so I had no choice but to take the ones he offered.  This was slightly uncomfortable, because I knew I didn’t have any money in my pocket and I now felt obliged to give him something.  I also felt bad for the guy because he was old enough to be my father.  I did what any person would do; I looked down in shame and then rushed out of the door.

If you think about it, the entire bathroom attendant situation is useless.  The bathroom attendant is like the guy that offers to clean your car with newspaper, but at least he is doing something that you don’t want to do yourself.  The bathroom attendant on the other hand is handing out paper towels I could grab from a machine.  In fact, it takes just as much effort to grab it from a machine as it does to take it from a bathroom attendant.  Also, the guilt of having an adult ask for change while you’re living the good life partying around is enough to make a grown man cry.  I’m also not sure why it always has to be a sixty-year-old black man wearing a suit?  It seems racist.  As if we are on the Titanic, and blacks are not allowed in the main lounge. 

The function of the bathroom attendant is confused.  He is one part custodian, one part waiter, and two parts panhandler.  Now, I’m not entirely sure what to do about this situation, because I genuinely sympathize with the bathroom attendants, but their subsistence should not be my responsibility.  If the establishment wants someone to look after the bathroom, they should employ the bathroom attendant as a custodian, rather then having him subsist on tips given from guilt driven patrons.